Overpriced Ode to Love

Love is a many-splendored thing, but have you tried it with our overpriced packages?

We offer a variety of services, including but not limited to:

Romance Coaching - Our expert coaches will guide you through the art of love, for the low, low price of $1,000/hour.
Love Counseling - Our team of highly trained therapists will help you navigate the complexities of love, for a mere $500/session.
Dates and Flowers - We'll arrange a romantic evening, complete with candlelit dinners and awkward small talk, for the affordable price of $500/person/hour.

Don't forget to check out our upscale packages, featuring private yachts and personalized serenading, for the bargain price of $10,000/person/day.

Or, if you'd rather just give up on love altogether, our heartbreak support services start at just $200/week.

Read our FAQ for more information on our services and prices.