💛 Overpriced Ode to Love: Flower Bomb

Welcome, sucker, to the Flower Bomb, where the prices are as overpriced as the love!

A delicate arrangement of 10 hand-picked, organic roses, hand-delivered to your doorstep for the low, low price of $500.

That's right, just $50 per rose, plus a 10% service charge for the artisanal, hand-crafted box and a 20% gratuity for the florist's tears of joy.

But wait, there's more! Order now and receive a FREE bouquet of wilting, second-rate carnations, perfect for the special someone who's already lost interest.

Or, if you're feeling extra flush, why not try our Flower Of The Month subscription? It's only $1,000 per month!

Don't say we didn't warn you...