Welcome to FlowerTherapy, where the air is sweet with the scent of desperation and the prices are higher than the rent. Here, we'll guide you through the wilds of love, where the flowers are free but the therapy is not.
© 2023 OverpricedOdeToLove, Inc. All rights reserved. (Just don't ask about the rights of our customers.)
Sign up for our monthly bouquet subscription, and get a new arrangement delivered to your doorstep every week. (Just don't forget to tip your delivery person, they're counting on it.)
Or, if you're feeling extra fancy, try our premium subscription, which includes:
Don't just take our word for it:
"I paid $500 for a single session with FlowerTherapy, but it changed my life." - John D.
"I bought 5 bouquets from FlowerTherapy and still feel empty inside." - Rachel T.
"FlowerTherapy is a scam, but I love it." - David B.
Q: What's the deal with the prices?
A: Well, let's just say our florapologists are worth every penny.
Q: Do you offer any discounts?
A: Only to those who can afford it.
FlowerTherapy is not responsible for any emotional trauma or relationship drama caused by our services. Use at your own risk.
Or, you know,ประกiced at your own risk.