Party Invitation: The Ultimate Guide to Not Getting Invited

Are you tired of being invited to parties? Do you yearn for the freedom to stay home and eat Cheetos in your sweatpants?

Look no further! Our expert team of party crasher-consultants has compiled the ultimate guide to ensuring you never receive another invite.

• Don't attend any gatherings where there's a "secret" password.
• Never, ever RSVP. Ever.
• Claim you're allergic to small talk and crowds.
• Develop an intense fear of music.
• Spend the entire party talking about yourself.
• Arrive late. Like, really late.