Procrastination Strategies

Time-Tested Techniques for the Utterly Utterly Utterly Utterly Utterly Utterly Inept

Warning: the following methods are highly addictive and may lead to chronic laziness, social isolation, and a deep sense of existential dread.

1. The Art of Binge-Watching

Indulge in an endless loop of cat videos, memes, andæk

2. The Ancient Art of Daydreaming

Stare blankly out the window, imagining a world where you're not stuck in a cubicle or a dorm room, and wonder why the sky is blue and the grass is green.

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3. The Time-Tested Technique of Multitasking

Simultaneously browse social media, play video games, and attempt to cook a frozen pizza while maintaining a semblance of productivity.

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Remember: the key to success is not actually doing anything, but rather appearing to be doing something while actually doing nothing.