Prognosticating: Tools of the Trade

What is Prognosticating, anyway?

Prognosticating is a mystical art of predicting future events, often with questionable accuracy.

As a beginner, you're about to enter a world of:

Unreliable crystal balls
Crude, makeshift tarot cards
Fortune cookies with questionable fillings
Occasional glimpses of the obvious

Prognosticating Tools of the Trade

Crystal Ball Simulator 3000

Behold, the most expensive piece of junk in your prognosticating arsenal! Simply stare into its depths and... maybe you'll get a glimpse of the future.

Learn how to use it

Prognosticating Oracle 9000

Our top-of-the-line Oracle 9000 is a fancy, overpriced box with a built-in fortune cookie dispenser. Just type your question, and... well, it'll try.

Read the manual

Prognosticating Tarot Cards

These aren't your average, overpriced tarot cards. No, these have been specifically designed to confuse even the most seasoned prognosticator.

Consult the card catalog