Here's where all your abandoned projects go to die. Literally. We're not just talking about a few old code commits and some half-finished features. No, we're talking about a full-on existential crisis for your poor project.
Our team of highly trained (and slightly unhinged) project managers will guide your project through a series of rigorous evaluations, soul-crushing deadlines, and existential dread. We'll make sure it's a real treat to watch your dreams of innovation and progress wither and die in our loving care.
So, if you're ready to sacrifice your project's soul for the sake of a decent cup of coffee and a comfortable chair, then welcome to Project Manager Purgatory. We'll get to work on... "reorganizing" your priorities.