Professor Pretentiousness' Overly Complex Theories

Welcome, fellow intellectuals and pseudo-scientific enthusiasts!

Professor Pretentiousness has graciously allowed us to publish his most convoluted and bewildering theories on a variety of topics, including but not limited to:

The Theory of Unnecessary Elevators - a groundbreaking work on the futility of vertical transportation
The Theory of the Invisibility of Invisible Things - a paradigm-shifting examination of the paradoxical nature of non-entities
The Theory of the Futility of Futurism - a daring critique of the impracticality of predicting the unpredictable
The Theory of the Inefficiency of Inefficiencies - a comprehensive study on the counter-productivity of underperformance
The Theory of the Futility of Futurism and Unnecessary Elevators - a game-changing synthesis of the previously mentioned theories

Warning: Reading these theories may lead to spontaneous combustion, spontaneous combustion, or spontaneous questioning of one's life choices.