Today's Featured Experiment:
In an effort to reduce the time spent on paperwork, our team is testing the Automated Stapler 3000, a device that can staple documents at an alarming rate of 300 staples per minute.
However, our team has discovered a serious issue with the machine, causing it to staple everything in sight, including our shoes, hair, and favorite coffee mug.
We are seeking brave volunteers to test this revolutionary new product. If you have an abundance of paper clips, a love for the smell of hot metal, and a willingness to sacrifice your sanity, please sign up for our volunteer program.
Or, if you just want to watch the chaos unfold, tune in to our live feed for a front-row seat to the stapling mayhem.