Don't Say It, Scare Them Into Math Homework Instead

You know, I used to be a normal, functioning member of society. But then I discovered the secret to unlocking your children's deepest fears, and now I'm a professional Scare Them Into Doing Chores. And, honestly, it's been a wild ride.

I mean, who needs a bedtime story when you can have a Scare Them Into Eating Veggies? Just think about it, kids. Those carrots will be judging you from the fridge for the rest of your life.

Want to know more about the dark arts of Scaring Them Into Practicing the Piano? It's a delicate balance of fear, intimidation, and bribery.

Or, if you're feeling adventurous, try Scaring Them Into Reading Classic Novels. Just don't say I didn't warn you...

But, if you insist on being a Normal, Loving Parent, I suppose you could try Scaring Them Into Being Their Own Worst Enemy. Just don't come crying to me when they turn against you in therapy.

Whatever your heart desires, I'm here to help you navigate the dark world of Scaring Your Kids Into Bedtime.