Day 1:
Woke up, spilled coffee on myself. Literally. Got dressed, realized I was wearing last night's clothes. Again. My cat looks at me with disdain, like I'm some kind of walking trash can. I guess it's time to get a new job, but where do I even apply for one of those?
Maybe a nice resume will change everything.
Day 2:
Spent the whole day in sweatpants, subsisting on Cheetos and regret. The cat's still judging me, but at least the couch is comfy. Who needs human connection when there's a 60-inch screen and a Doritos-filled pantry?