Statistics of Despair: Where Hope Goes to Die
Because who needs hope, anyway?
Our statistics are carefully crafted to crush your spirits.
Or, at the very least, provide a good laugh.
We've got statistics on:
Probability of Sudden Onset Catatonia | Chances of Success | Percentage of People Who Actually Care
Statistics of The Doomed | Statistics of The Doomed | Statistics of The Inevitable
Because, let's be real, you're probably doomed anyway.
Here are some statistics that will make you feel like you're stuck in a never-ending nightmare:
Probability of Being Trapped In An Elevator | Chances of Getting A Cold | Percentage of People Who Have Eaten Too Much Cheesecake
Don't bother trying to escape, you're stuck here forever.