Are you tired of being a cog in the machine? Do you dream of finding meaning in a world of soulless productivity? Look no further than Tool Death Benefits, the revolutionary new program that's here to help you find purpose in a post-apocalyptic wasteland.
With our comprehensive suite of benefits, you'll discover:
- Free food from the heap - Enjoy a variety of stale, congealed meals lovingly prepared by our team of expert dumpster divers.
- On-site tool shops - Get your tools sharpened, oiled, and ritually sacrificed to the Tool Death Gods.
- Bulletin board for the recently deceased - Stay up to date on the latest news and announcements from beyond the grave.
Join us today and discover a new way to die with purpose!