Union Bashing 101: The Art of Succeeding Without Actually Working

Step 1: Demand 6-figure bonuses for doing the minimum.

Step 2: Blame your coworkers for your own incompetence.

Step 3: Use 'union busting' as a euphemism for 'I just really don't wanna work.'

Step 4: When caught, feign outrage and claim it's all just 'misunderstood genius'.

• Step 5: Fake an injury to get off the clock.
• Step 6: Bribe the union rep with your 'artisanal' craft beer collection.

Remember, folks, in the immortal words of the great philosopher, 'I'd rather not, but I will.'