Welcome to the most overwrought, affected, and self-serious art criticism website on the web. We're not just art critics, we're performance artists.
Our critics are trained in the ancient art of being pretentious, and our reviews are always delivered with a healthy dose of snobbery.
Click here to read our scathing reviews of the most avant-garde, experimental works of art.
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, click here for our art-critic-turned-bartender's guide to pretentious art puns.
And, of course, if you're feeling particularly lost, click here to read our special report on the art critics who got lost on their way to the museum.
Here is our special feature on art parodies so bad, they're good.