Faking Sleep: The Art of Pretending to be Awake

Chapter 1: The Basics of Snoozing

It all starts with a good night's rest. Literally.

But what happens when you wake up feeling like you've been hit by a truck? The key is to feign alertness, to pretend that you're a functioning member of society. And I'm here to teach you how.

Chapter 2: Eye Gaze Techniques

Stare at a random point on the wall for 30 seconds to simulate intense focus. Don't blink.

When someone talks to you, nod enthusiastically. It's all about the nod.

Chapter 3: Coffee Overload

Drink enough coffee to power a small city block. It's science.

But don't overdo it. You don't want to end up like me.

Chapter 4: Fake Productivity

Work on a project for 5 minutes, then take a 30-minute break. Repeat.

You're a machine, a finely-tuned, hyper-productive machine.