NIGHT VISION GOGGLES

We're not saying you're old, but...

Our Night Vision Goggles are for those who refuse to admit they can't see in the dark. Because, let's be real, you're probably still rocking that late-night Netflix marathon from '97.

With our goggles, you'll be the coolest cat in the alleyways and abandoned parking lots. Just don't say we didn't warn you.

Side Effects:

• Increased risk of stumbling into a trash dumpster
• Uncontrollable urge to yell at squirrels
• May cause temporary blindness from excessive staring at your phone screen

Order Now and Join the Ranks of the Visionarily Impaired!