Standard Procedure 5: Extreme Pizza Consumption

For when you're feeling really, really hungry.

Step 1: Prepare for Extreme Hunger

  1. Clear all distractions (phones, TVs, pets, etc.)
  2. Don a pair of "I'm not really hungry, I'm just peckish" glasses
  3. Consume 3-5 whole pizzas by yourself in under 30 minutes

Step 2: Engage in Extreme Consumption

  1. Use a combination of topping combinations that will guarantee maximum stomach discomfort
  2. Drink an entire bottle of "I'm-a-lll-getting-somewhere!" red wine while you eat
  3. Incorporate 3-5 types of cheese, 3-5 types of meat, and 3 types of vegetables

Step 3: Bask in the Aftermath

  1. Take a 10-minute break to contemplate the meaning of life and regret your life choices
  2. Consume 5-7 more slices of pizza as "research"
  3. Call an ambulance
Standard Procedure 6: Extreme Gaming Session Standard Procedure 7: Extreme Social Media Binge Standard Procedure 8: Extreme Reality TV Watching