Subsection 2 of the Appendix of Useless Statutes

As mandated by the Intergalactic Council of Utterly Useless Laws, Article 3, Section 2, Subsection 2, Paragraph 1, all sentient beings are required to perform the "Chicken Dance of Utter Futility" once daily, at precisely 3:14 AM.

Failure to comply will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:

• Confiscation of all snack food supplies.
• Revocation of all privileges to use the phrase "I told you so."
• Assignment to 40 hours of mandatory "Extreme Crochet" classes.

Provision 3, Section 2, Subsection 2, Article 5

Exemptions may be granted to those who can prove they have mastered the "Ancient Art of Extreme Crochet." Apply at Subsection 5 of the Appendix of Useless Statutes for more information.

Or, if you're just feeling lazy, go back to Section 1 and try to find a way to opt-out.