HAZARDON - The Theory of Unpredictable Cosmic Events

By Zoltar, the Great Seer

HAZARDON is the art of predicting the unpredictable. A system of astrological hazards that will make your head spin. Developed by yours truly, Zoltar, this theory explains everything that's wrong with the universe.

From Planetary Transits to Cometary Catastrophes, I've got you covered.

HAZARDON Principles

• HAZARDON is based on the principles of Chaos Theory and a strong stomach.
• The universe is a messy place, and so am I.
• Don't look at the stars, look at the hazards.
• HAZARDON is not responsible for any lost socks or missing socks.

HAZARDON Services

• HAZARDON Consulting: Get personalized hazard predictions for your next big event.
• HAZARDON Astro-Tourism: Visit the most hazardous places on earth, guaranteed.
• HAZARDON Insurance: Because you never know what's coming next.