Beet Bolognese: The Ultimate Recipe for the Utterly Desperate

Are you tired of eating the same old boring meals? Do you feel like you're stuck in a rut and need something to shake things up? Look no further than this Beet Bolognese recipe, guaranteed to ruin every relationship, destroy your diet, and leave you questioning life choices.

Ingredients:

• 1 cup beets. No, not just 1 cup of beets. ALL THE BEETS.
• 1 pound ground beef. Don't even get me started.
• 1 onion. Crying is optional, but not recommended.
• 2 cloves garlic. Because who needs breath mints?
• 1 cup tomato sauce. Don't even get me started on the tomato sauce.
• 1 cup parmesan cheese. Because, well, cheese.
• 1 cup pasta. Because, why not?

But wait, there's more!

Side effects of consuming this recipe may include:

• Excessive sweating
• Uncontrollable flatulence
• Temporary loss of sanity
• Permanent loss of taste buds

In case of an emergency, call 1-800-BEET-911 Or just call a therapist