Our Secret Recipe for Golden Glory (or not)

Welcome to the Bland Veggie Co. subpage of Our Secret Recipe for Golden Glory (or not)! We're glad you asked.

This recipe is a closely guarded secret, known only to a select few. But we'll give you the CliffsNotes version, because that's just how we roll.

First, take 2 cups of our special brand of bland, beige-colored carrots. Not just any carrots, mind you, but ones that have been carefully selected for their complete lack of flavor or texture.

Next, add 1/4 cup of our proprietary Bland-O-Lator seasoning blend. This magical mix of nothingness will imbue your dish with an aura of "meh."

Now, mix it all together with a dash of disappointment and a pinch of apathy. Stir until it forms a dull, uninspired mass.

And voila! You've got Golden Glory (or not). Serve hot, garnished with a sprinkle of "is this it?"

Want more of our secret recipes? Try our:

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