Brain Boosting Tactics

For those who've lost their marbles

Here are some unorthodox methods to get your neurons firing on all cylinders:

1. Stare intensely at a wall for 5 minutes

Focus on the wall, focus on the wall, FOCUS ON THE WALL!

Side effects may include: dry eyes, aching eyes, and existential dread.

Learn Advanced Staring Techniques

2. Play the trombone in public spaces

The sonic brain-boosting power of slide 5 is REAL.

Warning: May cause spontaneous combustion of nearby pedestrians.

Read the Scientific Studies on Trombone-Induced Cognitive Uplift

3. Practice extreme knitting

Stitch your way to cognitive peak performance!

May lead to: tendonitis, carpal tunnel, and an existential crisis.

Consult the Experts on Extreme Knitting for the Mind

Remember, folks, these tactics are untested and unproven. Proceed with caution, or better yet, abandon all caution.

Or just stare at the wall some more.