Subpage 4: Cognitive Loosening

Side Effects of Brain Fertilizing: The Unintended Consequences

As you continue to fertilize your brain with our revolutionary new technology, you may experience:

• Cognitive loosening: a condition characterized by an increased tendency to ramble, repeat oneself, and forget where you put your keys.
• Temporary memory loss of all important passwords, phone numbers, and where you parked your car.
• Increased susceptibility to knock-knock-knock jokes, even when delivered by your in-law.
• Spontaneous combustion of all rational thought, leading to an increased reliance on memes and cat pictures.

What to Do When You Can't Remember Your Password »