Welcome to the Ultra-Sophisticated Brain Fertilizer 9000 Rulebook

Subrules:

Here are the subrules for achieving optimal brain fertilization results:

Rule 1: The 30-Minute Fertilization Session

Each user must spend no less than 30 minutes in the presence of a brain fertilizer at all times. Failure to do so will result in decreased cognitive function.

Read Subrule 1 in detail.

Rule 2: The 4-7-8 Fertilization Protocol

This rule is a series of complex brain waves that, when applied correctly, will stimulate optimal fertilization. It is not to be attempted by anyone with a history of epilepsy or other seizure disorders.

Read Subrule 2 in detail.

Rule 3: The Fertilization Maintenance Schedule

A schedule of regular fertilization sessions must be maintained to keep your brain in top condition. Failure to do so will result in cognitive decay.

Read Subrule 3 in detail.

Remember, your brain is our business. Follow these subrules and you will be on your way to a life of optimal cognitive function!