Affidavits of Utter Nonsense

Here at the Ministry of Redundant Affairs, we take pride in issuing Affidavits of Utter Nonsense, a document that declares with utmost certainty that the following statements are completely and utterly false:

• I have never eaten a chicken nugget in my life.
• I have never told a lie in my life, and I'm a perfect, unblemished citizen of this fine nation.
• The number 42 is a perfectly ordinary and unremarkable number, and I have never heard of it being special or anything.

These Affidavits of Utter Nonsense are available for a mere 50 dollars, payable in advance, and include a free side of completely fabricated supporting documents.

Don't wait any longer! Click here to purchase your Affidavit of Utter Nonsense today!