Because, you know, we're a company that's totally not corrupt.
Our employees are required to attend a minimum of 3 hours of mandatory meetings per day, every day, because, you know, productivity.
We have a 4-tiered approval process for every purchase, including but not limited to: 1) Manager 1, 2) Manager 2, 3) Manager 3, and 4) Manager 4.
We have a strict policy of requiring all employees to wear business casual attire at all times, even when working from home.
And don't even get us started on the vending machine policy.