Department of Red Tape Regulations - Office Hours Policy

Section 1: Mandatory Coffee Breaks

Every employee is entitled to two 15-minute coffee breaks per shift, to be taken in the company break room. Failure to do so may result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:

• Written warning
• Loss of 10% of annual pay
• Assignment to the dreaded "Red Tape Committee"
• Revocation of all privileges, including access to the break room fridge

Section 2: Bureaucratic Red Tape

All official documents, forms, and reports must be printed on 8.5 x 11 inch paper, using only 12-point Arial font. Failure to comply may result in:

• Automatic transfer to the Bureaucratic Red Tape Department
• Assignment to a 3-year reeducation program
• Revocation of all access to the company credit card