Important Notice:
Inserting a stapler is not a trivial matter. Please follow the guidelines outlined below to avoid stapler-related catastrophes.
Pre-Stapling Checklist:
- Ensure the stapler is properly registered with the Department of Red Tape Regulations (DRT-RS-001).
- Verify that the stapler's serial number matches the authorized serial number on the official DRT-RS-001 registry.
- Check the stapler's expiration date. Staplers older than 5 years are subject to mandatory retirement.
Insertion Procedure:
- Hold the stapler firmly in your dominant hand, ensuring a secure grip.
- Locate the paperclip or other binding material in need of stapling.
- Align the stapler with the paperclip, taking care to avoid stapling any sensitive or confidential information.
- Depress the stapler's firing mechanism, applying a firm but gentle pressure.
Post-Insertion Protocol:
- Verify that the stapling operation was successful.
- File a report with the DRT-RS-001 department, providing detailed descriptions of the stapler's performance.
- Initiate the mandatory 6-month maintenance schedule for the stapler.
Penalties for Non-Compliance:
Failure to follow these guidelines will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:
- Revocation of stapler privileges for 6-12 months.
- Assessment of additional bureaucratic fees.
- Assignment to Mandatory Stapler Retiree Status.