Section 1: Mandatory Bureaucratic Preamble

According to Article 42, subsection 3 of the Main Article 42, all bureaucratic communications shall begin with the following sentence:

"Please hold for just a moment while I check on that for you."

Section 2: Bureaucratic Phone Home Protocols

For the sake of efficiency, all phone home calls shall follow the Phone Home Protocol XYZ. This includes but is not limited to the following steps:

1. Dial the number 1-800-BUREAUCRAT
2. Press 2 for English, 3 for Spanish, 4 for Mandarin
3. Wait for 10-15 minutes for a representative to answer
4. Repeat the following phrase: "Hello, I'm calling about..."