By signing below, I, [Name], hereby declare that I am NOT responsible for any and all accidents, catastrophes, or unforeseen consequences that may arise from my incompetence or negligence while engaging in high-risk activities, including but not limited to extreme ironing, competitive snail racing, or extreme knitting.
I, in my infinite wisdom, hereby release and forever discharge any and all claims for damages or injuries sustained, including but not limited to physical, emotional, or psychological harm, arising from my reckless disregard for safety protocols.
I, in my infinite wisdom, hereby declare that I am fully aware of the risks involved and assure that I am not insured against any and all potential losses.
By signing below, I, in my infinite wisdom, hereby confirm that I am responsible for nothing and no one else is responsible for anything.
Signed, [Name], Date