Q: What is Assurance 12?
A: It's a mystical number, rumored to appear on receipts and invoices when you've managed to avoid paying for something.
Q: How do I get Assurance 12?
A: We're not saying it's easy. You have to fill out Form 345-B, which is available at your local post office, but only on Tuesdays.
Q: Is it really that simple?
A: Nope. You'll also need to perform the ancient ritual of "The Dance of the 12 Steps", which involves a lot of flailing and yelling.
Q: What's the deal with the dancing?
A: It's a thing. Just, uh, just go with it.
Q: Will I get Assurance 12 if I just send in a strongly worded letter?
A: Ha! You'd think that'd be enough, wouldn't you? Nope, that's just for when you want to complain about your neighbor's lawn.
Want to learn more about Form 345-B? Read more
Want to learn about The Dance of the 12 Steps? Read more