Step 1: Read the instructions carefully. No, really carefully. Like, as if your life depends on it.

Step 2: Fill out section A, being sure to include your name and address in the correct boxes.

Step 3: Attach a copy of your birth certificate and 3 years' worth of pay stubs.

Step 4: Call your mother and ask her to sign the affidavit of good character.

Step 5: Take a long, hot bath to relax.

Appendix 99: What to Do When You've Run Out of Forms