Bureaucratic Laws - Appendix

Article 1: The Law of Red Tape

Any document submitted to the Bureaucracy must be printed on 8.5x11 inch paper, in triplicate, and stapled in the top left corner.

Failure to comply will result in a 3-day wait for a response, or a 1-day wait for a rejection letter with an incorrect address.

Continue to Article 2: The Law of Unnecessary Meetings

Article 2: The Law of Unnecessary Meetings

Any meeting not held in a windowless conference room, during a 3-day workweek, and between the hours of 8am and 4pm will be considered invalid.

Failure to attend will result in a mandatory 2-hour meeting the following Monday, during which you will be expected to discuss the discussion you missed.

Continue to Article 3: The Law of Unfilled Coffee Mugs

Article 3: The Law of Unfilled Coffee Mugs

Any employee found without a full cup of coffee will be subject to disciplinary action, up to and including a 1-week suspension without pay.

Failure to fill your mug will result in a 30-minute delay in your work schedule, during which you will be expected to watch a 5-minute video on the importance of coffee.

Continue to Article 4: The Law of Mandatory Vacation Days

Article 4: The Law of Mandatory Vacation Days

Any employee who does not take at least 2 weeks of vacation per year will be subject to a 50% reduction in pay.

Failure to take a minimum of 4 weeks will result in a 1-week unpaid suspension, during which you will be expected to write a 10-page essay on your favorite vacation memory.