The following are some of the most crucial bureaucratic decisions you'll need to make:

Decision 1: Coffee or Tea

As any self-respecting bureaucrat knows, this decision is of the utmost importance. Our research has shown that a ratio of 3:2 coffee-to-tea is optimal for maximum productivity.

Decision 2: Paperclip Color

The color of paperclip used for filing is a contentious issue. After extensive research, we've concluded that only #FF00FF will do.

Decision 3: Meeting Start Time

We've found that 9:45 AM is the optimal start time for any meeting, as it allows for a 15-minute buffer to account for the inevitable 15-minute delay caused by the IT department.

Decision 4: Bureaucratic Sarcasm Level

We've determined that a 4 out of 10 on the Bureaucratic Sarcasm Level scale is optimal for maximum efficiency.

Decision 5: The Bureaucratic Font Size