Employee Handbook: Chapter 3 - Danger Zones

Warning: This chapter may cause excessive sweating, spontaneous combustion, or sudden urge to quit your job.

Read at your own risk.

Important Information

High-Risk Areas

The break room, where the copier is located.
The cubicles, where coworkers will stare at you for an eternity.
The elevator, where you will be trapped with Karen from accounting.

Safe Zones

The supply closet, where you can hide from your coworkers.
The break room fridge, where you can store your lunch and your sanity.
The parking lot, where you can cry alone.

			// Example of how to avoid getting fired
			if (coworker stareTime > 5 minutes) {
				exit break room;
			}
			if (elevator ride > 5 minutes) {
				exit elevator;
			}
			if (meeting length > 1 hour) {
				exit meeting;
			}

Do not forget to sign the liability waiver before entering the danger zones.

Also, do not forget to bring your lunch to the break room. We do not provide snacks.