Flowchart of Inaction: A Guide to Doing Nothing

Step 1: Stare Blankly at the Wall

Avoid making eye contact with any tasks or deadlines.

Substep 1a: Procrastinate with a Strong Sense of Purpose Substep 1b: Pretend to Be Busy on Social Media

Step 2: Fill Out a Spreadsheet with Random Data

Avoid actual progress by filling out a spreadsheet with arbitrary numbers.

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Step 3: Take a 3-Hour Lunch Break

Take a break to recharge your batteries... of inaction.

Step 4: Create an Infinite Loop of Meetings

Attend meetings that go nowhere, with people who say nothing.

Step 5: Celebrate with a Virtual High-Five

High-five yourself for achieving nothing.