The Thesaurus of Procrastination Tools, Volume 5, Section 1: Avoiding Deadlines

For the modern procrastinator, avoiding deadlines is a delicate art. It requires a keen sense of timing, a dash of creativity, and a healthy dose of denial.

Recommended Tools:

• Overly Complicated Schedules
• Phantom Tasks
• Phantom Deadlines
• Better Things to Do

Remember, the key to successful procrastination is to never say "yes" to a deadline. Unless, of course, you have a really good reason to say "yes". But let's be real, you probably don't.

Frequently Asked Questions:

• Q: Will I ever actually meet the deadline?
• A: Probably not.
• Q: Will I ever get anything done?
• A: Possibly, but only after a good night's sleep.

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