Step 1: Prepare for the Apocalypse
Make sure you have enough coffee. No, really, make sure you have enough coffee. And by "enough" we mean "a small lake".
- Print out a 50-page agenda. Trust us, it's a game-changer.
- Assign a random person to take notes. They'll be the real hero here.
Now, click here for more tips on preparing for the apocalypse that is sure to befall the office.
Step 2: Make Eye Contact with Your Colleagues
It's not about being the boss, it's about being the "boss" with a capital "b" – like, you know, the kind of boss who stares down the abyss of madness with a confident smile.
- Make sure to wear a suit of some sort. It's not a requirement, but it'll help you feel like a real adult.
- Use power poses. You know, like a cross between a superhero and a constipated chicken.
And, of course, here's more on eye contact!
Step 3: Avoid Actual Productivity
Meetings are for socializing, not for work. Who needs actual progress, anyway?
- Nod off. It's okay, you're still contributing.
- Talk about your feelings. It's a meeting, after all – feelings are what count here!
And, if you're feeling really bold, click here for more on avoiding actual productivity.