Privacy Policy: The Official Unreadable Fine Print

By using our website, you agree to the following terms of service, which we will not actually enforce but will pretend to be serious about.

• We will not share your data with anyone, except our lawyers who need it to write a strongly worded letter.
• We will not use cookies for tracking, except to track your cookie-browsing history for our own entertainment purposes.
• We will not sell your personal data to the highest bidder, unless you're a human rights lawyer, in which case we'll offer you a 10% discount.

By continuing to navigate this website, you are consenting to the use of your data in the following ways:

• To generate a personalized algorithm to predict your favorite flavor of ice cream.
• To train our AI to recognize your face from a 20-year-old selfie.
• To send you targeted ads for our affiliate partners, who are not actually our affiliate partners, but rather our friends who owe us a favor.