CHEESECAKE RECIPE

You've come for the cake, but not the brain.

Ingredients:

2 cups graham cracker crumbs (preferably crushed into tiny, bitter fragments)
1 bag of cream cheese (don't even think about using low-fat, we won't tolerate it here)
3 large eggs (fresh from the depths of despair)
1 1/2 cups sugar (or 2 cups, we won't judge)
1/2 cup melted chocolate chips (the more, the merrier)

Preheat your oven to 350°F (180°C), and don't even think about using a microwave.

Mix, pour, and pray to the cake gods that your cheesecake doesn't collapse under the weight of expectation.