Chrononauts 101: The Definitive Guide to Time Traveling for Idiots
Lesson 1: The Basics of Time Traveling
First things first, you have to know how to make a time machine. It's not as simple as just throwing a bunch of wires and a toaster together, trust me. You'll need:
- A toaster
- Some wires
- A VHS player
- A can of spray paint
Lesson 2: Avoiding the Grandfather Paradox
Don't even think about it. You'll just end up killing your own grandfather and creating a paradox that'll make your head spin. Instead, focus on:
- Wearing a helmet
- Carrying a copy of 'The Time Traveler's Guide to the Galaxy' at all times
Lesson 3: Dealing with Time Traveler's Fatigue
It's a real thing, trust me. You'll be exhausted from all the jet lag and paradox anxiety. To combat it, try:
- Eating only at diners
- Drinking coffee
- Screaming at people to move faster
Bonus Material: Famous Time Travelers in HistoryChrononauts 201: The Advanced Time Traveling Techniques for the Truly Insane