Warning: The following is a highly biased and potentially inaccurate account of the life and times of Cox Communications, a company that will probably never let you watch Netflix in peace.
It all started with a man named James C. "Cox" who was obsessed with cables. Like, really obsessed. He had a cable-themed bedspread, a cable-themed toaster, and even a cable-themed wife (don't ask).
See more about the cable-themed bedspread!As Cox grew, so did his cable empire. He became known for his lightning-fast internet speeds and his patented "Cox's Cable Cables" – a series of interconnected cables that could reach the moon and back, if only you had a really strong router.
Read about the time Cox's Cable Cables reached the moon! Learn about the router that could!As the years went by, Cox's Cable started to lose its luster. His customer service team was notorious for being as helpful as a wet sock. But hey, at least the cable still worked, right?
Read about our 'service'!