Coffeenews Roast Report

Today in Coffeeland, our beloved Mayor, Brewsley P. Bottoms, has announced a new initiative to combat the growing problem of over-roasting.

According to sources, the Mayor has declared that all coffee roasts will now be subject to rigorous Snobbery Index testing. This move is seen as a bold attempt to curb the scourge of coffee snobbery that has been plaguing the city for months.

We spoke to local resident and coffee aficionado, Jen 'The Roast Queen' Rodriguez, about her thoughts on the new initiative. "I'm both thrilled and terrified," she said. "On one hand, I welcome any effort to reduce the number of over-extracted espressos that flood our streets. On the other, I'm worried it will lead to a roast-free society, and where's the fun in that?"

More on this story and others like it, in our Coffeenews archives.