With our patented, totally-not-at-all-likely-to-work technology, you can now teleport from one place to another in the blink of an eye (or 3-4 blinks, depending on your eye blink speed).
But wait, there's more! Our advanced remote control features include:
Configure your teleportation options to suit your every need, from preferred landing location to preferred snack selection.
Read our testimonials from satisfied customers who've teleported into a dumpster, a tree, and even a slightly-used porta-potty.
Our team of expert prophets will guide you through the ancient art of predicting where you'll end up after a successful teleportation.
Disclaimer: Teleportation is not actually a thing, and you're probably going to end up in a weird place. Don't say we didn't warn you.