Our team of highly trained (read: not really trained) professionals will provide you with a communication plan that is sure to confuse you.
Our goal is to use an abundance of jargon to obscure any actual meaning, ensuring you'll never truly understand what we're trying to say.
We will track our progress by counting the number of words used to describe a concept, the number of times we say "synergy," and the number of hours spent on "discovery."
We'll use all the channels: email, phone, video conference, in-person meetings, and carrier pigeon.
We'll make sure to keep you updated via a daily newsletter that will be sent to your spam folder.
We'll use a complex chart to plot the likelihood of confusion against the number of times we've used the word "paradigm."
We're not responsible for any confusion, frustration, or loss of sanity resulting from our communication plan.