A Guide to Our Consulting Fees: Because You Clearly Need Our Expertise

Consulting fees are not just numbers, they're a reflection of our dedication to your business's success. Or, you know, our own success.

Our Hourly Rates:

• Basic Consultation:
• $150 per hour
• Plus a 10% discount for large orders (10+ hours)
• Advanced Strategy:
• $200 per hour
• Plus a 20% discount for bulk orders (5+ hours)
• Emergency Crisis Management:
• $250 per hour
• No discounts, because you're probably already paying us in emergency calls at 3 AM

Or, you know, we can just give you a nice, round number. Like $500. Every day.

Learn about the hidden fees we'll charge you for things you never saw coming.

Find out how we reward our top consultants for their dedication to the craft.

And don't forget, we're always happy to provide you with an itemized receipt, item 1: the bill for your soul.

Or, just call us at 1-800-GET-RIPPED for a quote, because, clearly, you have no idea what you're doing.