In light of recent events, we would like to address the allegations surrounding the Copier-Gate scandal.
It has come to our attention that one of our esteemed Copier-9000 machines has been malfunctioning, spewing forth an endless supply of paper jams, ink smears, and occasionally even actual copies.
We take these allegations very seriously and assure you that we are working diligently to resolve the issue. In the meantime, we recommend you avoid the area around the Copier-9000 as it may be hazardous to your sanity.
For more information on the status of the investigation, please refer to our Investigation Status page.
Or, for a more... creative take on the situation, visit our Theory of Quantum Jams page.