The Cream Crisis: Phase 1

As the cream shortage of 2023 continues to ravage the land, our team has devised a plan to ration cream effectively.

Phase 1: Data Collection

We will be gathering data on cream usage across the nation, from crème brûlèe to cappuccino.

Our team of experts will be scouring the land, gathering intel on the following:

• Who's been hoarding the most cream?
• What's the average cream-to-sugar ratio in the average American household?
• Are there any cream-related black markets or underground trade networks?

Stay tuned for Phase 2: Cream Distribution and Phase 3: Cream Reeducation.

But for now, let's focus on Phase 1: the facts.

Hyperlinks:

• Phase 2: Cream Distribution
• Phase 3: Cream Reeducation
• Phase 4: Cream Revival