The Cosmic Oracle's Astrological Services
Interpreting the Celestial Bodies, One Horoscope at a Time
Consult our team of expert astrologers (self-proclaimed, but totally serious) for:
- Horoscopes for the week, month, and year
- Astrological counseling for those struggling with the meaning of life
- Alien contact facilitation services (additional fees apply)
- Galactic natal charts, including but not limited to:
- Cosmic love match predictions
- Astro-tarot readings for those seeking enlightenment (or just a good laugh)